matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Randomize
