After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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