One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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