How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
