3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
