Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
