Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
