I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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