I think i peed on brittanys purse
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
