i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
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