Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Randomize
