is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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