I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
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