Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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