Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
