So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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