Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
You're a waste of cheezeits
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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