I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
