ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer