Texts From Last Night

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  (816): View more from Missouri

  dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?

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  (816): dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink? http://tfl.nu/aysx
  Replies (2) Good night (602) Bad night (963)
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex

  (404): View more from Georgia

  Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut

  (770): View more from Georgia

  Fuck. Wron person. But yea

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  (770): Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex (404): Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut (770): Fuck. Wron person. But yea http://tfl.nu/bsak
  Replies (26) Good night (1903) Bad night (3545)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.

  (1-630): View more from Illinois

  if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...

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  (630): I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends. (1-630): if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs... http://tfl.nu/id4n
  Replies (51) Good night (10693) Bad night (1598)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed

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  (541): dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed http://tfl.nu/93gi
  Replies (46) Good night (2314) Bad night (11251)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me

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  (978): we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me http://tfl.nu/ax47
  Replies (12) Good night (3194) Bad night (565)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"

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  (443): The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts" http://tfl.nu/th5a
  Replies (37) Good night (1563) Bad night (6965)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost

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  (215): Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost http://tfl.nu/oth1
  Replies (4) Good night (4006) Bad night (941)
• Favorite

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.

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  (910): I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers. http://tfl.nu/lhcq
  Replies (7) Good night (1691) Bad night (1762)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...

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  (440): Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?... http://tfl.nu/7sdw
  Replies (7) Good night (713) Bad night (970)
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..

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  (419): He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk.. http://tfl.nu/th8z
  Replies (12) Good night (2691) Bad night (583)
• Favorite

  (778): View more from British Columbia

  Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"

  (1-778): View more from British Columbia

  Too much penis in there.

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  (778): Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god" (1-778): Too much penis in there. http://tfl.nu/nb8j
  Replies (8) Good night (1810) Bad night (711)
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette

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  (973): You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette http://tfl.nu/vrto
  Replies (1) Good night (1186) Bad night (457)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.

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  (847): I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying. http://tfl.nu/v59j
  Replies (4) Good night (1288) Bad night (648)
• Favorite

  (949): View more from California

  Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut

  (714): View more from California

  I think mark twain said that originally

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  (949): Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut (714): I think mark twain said that originally http://tfl.nu/28hc
  Replies (6) Good night (1564) Bad night (417)
• Favorite

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.

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  (267): No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds. http://tfl.nu/rx6k
  Replies (1) Good night (207) Bad night (473)

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