thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize
