I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.