Texts From Last Night

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  (518): View more from New York

  Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved

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  (518): Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved http://tfl.nu/xr5y
  Replies (11) Good night (1409) Bad night (518)
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  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.

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  (321): I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud. http://tfl.nu/bqn8
  Replies (60) Good night (2218) Bad night (1147)
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  (909): View more from California

  WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN

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  (909): WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN http://tfl.nu/7vj7
  Replies (185) Good night (4440) Bad night (19038)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.

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  (419): so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer. http://tfl.nu/r6k4
  Replies (17) Good night (676) Bad night (7083)
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  (972): View more from Texas

  85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.

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  (972): 85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing. http://tfl.nu/910d
  Replies (13) Good night (930) Bad night (6392)
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  (716): View more from New York

  Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting

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  (716): Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting http://tfl.nu/p9om
  Replies (9) Good night (2850) Bad night (1134)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction

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  (505): i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction http://tfl.nu/hb6q
  Replies (10) Good night (985) Bad night (4509)
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  (714): View more from California

  I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born

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  (714): I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born http://tfl.nu/tmja
  Replies (13) Good night (3079) Bad night (1096)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  Less talking, more tequila

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  (708): Less talking, more tequila http://tfl.nu/d67d
  Replies (8) Good night (2354) Bad night (730)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.

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  (816): He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance. http://tfl.nu/ljav
  Replies (5) Good night (2519) Bad night (1291)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.

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  (717): The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot. http://tfl.nu/h8z2
  Replies (6) Good night (2858) Bad night (1198)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.

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  (540): Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures. http://tfl.nu/hix2
  Replies (9) Good night (1976) Bad night (662)
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  (626): View more from California

  My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,

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  (626): My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing, http://tfl.nu/i8yq
  Replies (1) Good night (558) Bad night (284)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.

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  (860): Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character. http://tfl.nu/v0k6
  Replies (4) Good night (636) Bad night (383)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.

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  (317): When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism. http://tfl.nu/w1kb
  Replies (2) Good night (549) Bad night (286)

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