there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"