so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
