Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
