perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
