Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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