I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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