I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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