life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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