i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
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The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
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And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Sorry about my life...
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS