Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
