when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
10+ Incredible Tumblr Stories That Will Leave You Shook
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.