i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
