fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize