That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
