I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
