she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
