I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
