I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
