who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
