so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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