Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
you have to choose: penises or morals?
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Randomize
