I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
