He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
