when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
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