Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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