He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
