if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
