now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
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