Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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