did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
