I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
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