SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
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