You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
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