i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
