Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Randomize
