i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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