Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
My brain says no but my pants say off.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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