haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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