No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
