You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
