wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
